Poster child for non-drunken texting guys who blow them off

And now, a public service announcement from The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment:

Do you have a friend who, when out with the group on a school night and is tanked to the hilt, likes to approach bartender guys who have blown them off to find out the reason they did so, only to then go home and drunk text them asking if they are committed to the girl the guy is now seeing? We at The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment ask you to do your part to spare that friend the awfulness of waking up the next morning remembering what they did while they foster the desire to crawl in a hole and die. What can you do? When you see that friend get up out of her seat to approach the bartender guy, tackle them, chain them down, gag them, and distract them with conversations about the Illinois’ corrupt governor or the Cubs trading Mark DeRosa. Take their phone away from them as quickly as possible. When they try to get the phone back, and they will, threaten them with bodily harm and the promise to never take you to that bar again. Remember, you would want them to do the same for you.

This has been a message from The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment.