Posts (page 2)

I must be seriously fucked in the head. After a dreary, sad day of watching the Blackhawks get bitch-slapped in the Winter Classic, I came home to check email and see what was going on on Match.com. A few days ago this guy chose me as his “favorite” which guess is a new feature. I never saw it until I signed up again a few days ago. He’s 40, a former chef who now works in advertising and has a kid. I don’t care if someone has a kid. I want a family someday and being 35 I am realistic. Kids are not a deal-breaker for me. His profile seems cool so I decide to “wink” at him, not knowing he was online. So, he IM’s me. You can IM on Match. Holy shit. I freaked. I figured I would send an innocuous “wink” but, boom, there he pops up. We IM for about an hour and he seems cool. Nice. Normal. Has a 7 year old son that he spent NYE with. Cool with me. He asks me out for drinks Saturday night in the city and I say yes. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?! I said yes??????? Why? I’m not suppose to go out with anyone. Am I? I just got started again on Match and already I have a drink date? Is that weird? Normal? Should I go? I’m shaking my head in disbelief right now. How did I get a drink date already? I can still cancel I guess. I got on Match to meet people and now I’m being a total spazz-matic. Beyond spazz-matic. Aww, shit.

Monday night turned out to be an awesomely shitty night that I never could’ve predicted. First, I was still thinking about Bartender Guy and how that ended. Kinda bummed, but again, realistic. Kept thinking about him. I agreed to have dinner with my ex boyfriend who is trying to get back together with me. Or so it seems. He shows up and I’m about ready to choke and die: Bartender Guy’s outfit on Friday was a black turtle-neck sweater with dark jeans and gym shoes with a dark navy pea-coat. Guess what the fuck the ex shows up in? Exact same fucking clothes. Then, he recognizes “the smell”. The shirt I wore to dinner with the ex was the same I wore this past weekend with Bartender Guy and he was all over me in. I only wore it once and it seemed ok. Not icky – we’ve all done it. But the ex picked up on the strange smell right away as soon as I took my coat off. And it wasn’t because of my new perfume.

So, here I am. Dealing with an ex who might know. We go to dinner and it’s fine. Then we go to a dive bar only to find that it’s a poetry slam night. I’ve never been to one and have always wanted to. He has, so I ask if we can stay. We do, and I start to think it’s cool that he’s willing to stay because I’ve never been there. Everything is cool until we get in the car and he starts spouting about his high school friend who is a typical art school degenerate and the bad slams they went to and ripping on the people we heard. I thought I heard some people I liked and commented. Some I understood and totally got. Others, I respected because they were performing art. The ex just railed and killed any sense of possible connection I was forming with him. He became his old self. When he dropped me off he kissed me like he was a wet sponge swapping up water. No passion. No “like” even. Tonight I truly realized that my ex and I will never get back together.

On top of that, I get a call from one of my best friends – another ex – and he tells me he can’t talk later this week. I’m wondering why, and he tells me his wife is “due” any day. As in NOW. FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!  He never, EVER, told me she was pregnant. It is such an emotional shock to me I can’t explain. I am beyond happy for him, but suddenly in one night knowing that he’s becoming a dad kills me. It warms yet breaks my heart in a million pieces. If I had known I would’ve things would’ve been different. I would’ve had time to lean into it. Been there as a friend. Instead, he thought all these months I was ignoring the pregnancy and just being “friends” as normal. I’m hurt, confused, but happy and hopeful that his son arrives in great health and that his mom is healthy as well.

On top of that, I guess I am bummed about Bartender Guy dumping me. Argh!!!!!

Shit, I did it. Yep. I figured I'd blow $40 and sign up for one month of match.com. I did it last year for about four months, and with the exception of one or two viable prospects it was a waste. I think my new found dating bravado and finally getting seriously laid after a major drought contributed to the decision. The way I look at it is that I would like to get laid again relatively soon and since I'm not really meeting anyone in daily life, I figured I'd try the cyber life again. I'm giving it the one month trial to see what happens. I actually did find some good prospects, and after a shot or two of tequila I actually "winked" at them. For those not in the match.com know, a "wink" is a way of sending a brief message that you are interested in someone. I found three. We'll see what happens. I'm not putting a lot of stock in it, but who knows. Maybe I can get a round of free drinks out of it. I haven't heard from Bartender Guy so my assumption at this point is definitely the big sayonara.

All I can say right now is WOW while I’m still trying to catch my breath. Bartender Guy came home from the east coast last night, and after a few catch up drinks, we really caught up. Huge. Spent the last night, morning and early afternoon making up for what we couldn’t do last week. He is simply amazing. Gorgeous, and seriously talented. But alas, I have a feeling this might just be a fling. He works tonight, and with the exception of tomorrow night when he’s done at 7, he’s working every night late until New Year’s Day. Sigh. After a night of very little sleep, a morning of stunted sleep and wake-up calls, and an early afternoon of reading the newspaper in bed together, with a kiss good-bye I left around 1:30 so he could get ready for work with the promise he would call me tomorrow so we could get together. I don’t think he will. I get the clear sense of his only wanting something casual, which is cool. He’s seriously considering moving back home within a year and that wreaks of casual. It would be nice to meet someone that doesn’t turn into a fling, but admittedly this was good for me. It got me out of the dry spell, kicked my confidence up again, and made me seriously start thinking about giving the ex boyfriend the permanent boot after a year of playing “Shit or get off the pot” with him. It was a few incredible days and nights with Bartender Guy. Speaking of which, I told the ex boyfriend I would have dinner with him tonight. I have a feeling he is sensing something is up because I haven’t been returning his calls as frequently, have been “busy” and generally a little distant. I’m waiting to see if he says something. I might admit I went on a date but he doesn’t need to know about anything else that happened.

Bartender Guy’s flight to the east coast was cancelled yesterday due to the crap ass weather. (Yes, Bartender Boy has been renamed Bartender Guy. He’s earned it.) So I got the nice surprise of being able to see him again yesterday. After a day of football and pizza and an overnight of more insane activities taken steps further than our Friday evening I dropped him off at the train at 6:00 a.m. and waltzed in my own door in plenty of time to get ready for work. Our plans to see each other when he gets in this Friday are still firm and will hopefully stay that way. I will be 100% ready for action and have zero plans of holding back on him. Now, if I can only concentrate on my two day work week.

I had the most incredible night with bartender boy. We met up for drinks last night after he got off work and had a great time. The girl he was winding down with when we met is definitely done and gone. We closed the bar and decided to have drinks and watch a movie at his place that was a two minute drive away from the bar. His place isn’t anything remotely special and he doesn’t have a lot of furniture or anything. Lost a lot of it to a past ex he lived with. Not one for cable TV either, though I know a few people who don’t have it so I’ll shove that one temporarily under the rug. After a little bourbon you can imagine what happened next. Rather, what DIDN’T happen because of the big Fuck You! From mother nature. Yep folks. I finally have the chance to have what was building up to be some amazing, mind altering, hot sex only to have it turn out to be amazing, mind altering hot groping, etc. because it’s the tail end of “that time”. Shit! At this moment my head wants to explode along with several other things. Despite this he asked me to stay over, and I did. At first I said no but I easily relented after one seriously outrageous kiss. I haven’t stayed at a guy’s place in almost 2 years. It really felt good. Waking up in his arms on a cold winter morning was wonderful. It was something that I really want to experience again. Unfortunately, he woke me up and I didn’t have a chance to perform my time honored tradition of waking up before the guy, sneaking to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix the hair and make-up a tiny bit, then sneaking back into bed. Nope. He woke up to Godzilla with crazy, frenzy sleep hair, make-up rubbed off and morning breath guaranteed to kill children and small animals within 5 feet. The poor guy. Yet, there he was putting up with it.

I don’t get to see him now until next Friday when he gets back from the east coast where his family is. We’ll see what happens then. I’ve only been home an hour from leaving his place and the text messages have already started flying.

I had the most incredible night with bartender boy. We met up for drinks last night after he got off work and had a great time. The girl he was winding down with when we met is definitely done and gone. We closed the bar and decided to have drinks and watch a movie at his place that was a two minute drive away from the bar. His place isn’t anything remotely special and he doesn’t have a lot of furniture or anything. Lost a lot of it to a past ex he lived with. Not one for cable TV either, though I know a few people who don’t have it so I’ll shove that one temporarily under the rug. After a little bourbon you can imagine what happened next. Rather, what DIDN’T happen because of the big Fuck You! From mother nature. Yep folks. I finally have the chance to have what was building up to be some amazing, mind altering, hot sex only to have it turn out to be amazing, mind altering hot groping, etc. because it’s the tail end of “that time”. Shit! At this moment my head wants to explode along with several other things. Despite this he asked me to stay over, and I did. At first I said no but I easily relented after one seriously outrageous kiss. I haven’t stayed at a guy’s place in almost 2 years. It really felt good. Waking up in his arms on a cold winter morning was wonderful. It was something that I really want to experience again. Unfortunately, he woke me up and I didn’t have a chance to perform my time honored tradition of waking up before the guy, sneaking to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix the hair and make-up a tiny bit, then sneaking back into bed. Nope. He woke up to Godzilla with crazy, frenzy sleep hair, make-up rubbed off and morning breath guaranteed to kill children and small animals within 5 feet. The poor guy. Yet, there he was putting up with it.

I don’t get to see him now until next Friday when he gets back from the east coast where his family is. We’ll see what happens then. I’ve only been home an hour from leaving his place and the text messages have already started flying.

If things go as planned I have date #2 with bartender boy after he gets off work, despite the incredible amount of ugly snow and slush dropped on Chicago today. My boots and feet won't dry out for 10 years. Yesterday was a slight flurry of flirtatious text messages with him which was a surprising little bonus to my day. I forgot how much fun flirting can be. Might as well go along for the ride. Never hurts to have a little harmless fun. I'm trying to take a very laid-back approach to this guy obviously, but have to admit I am counting the minutes practically until tonight. It's a very strange feeling. I will definitely go crazy until I get another kiss. The man has spoiled me rotten in that regard and I curse him for distracting me from concentrating at the office. Evil. Pure evil he is.

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he came early this year in the form of a really great date with bartender boy. Still amazingly hot, still nice, smart, funny. Did I mention hot? Drinks at the swanky hotel bar were plenty, and slightly romantic, which turned into more drinks at another watering hole. I didn’t get home until after midnight. Unfortunately, it also seemed to be a night of pluses and minuses towards him. Plus that he fessed up about the real reason he didn’t call me. There’s a girl that he winding down with. That’s cool. Not a big deal, but I told him that I’d rather he be honest instead of the dumb excuse. I’d respect that a lot more. Plus that he’s also a writer who has been published in some magazines and wants to write a novel. Plus that he’s a big science geek like myself. Plus that he’s an extraordinarily great kisser. Plus that he does want to settle down and be in a relationship. Minus that he’s 40 and never married. Minus that he’s a struggling writer that bartends and hates doing it. Minus that he’s got that chick on the side. Small minus that he got a little drunk (albeit we didn’t even think about getting dinner). If it doesn’t work out, eh. But it was nice to be reminded of what a decent date was like. Haven’t had one in years. Ah, but the nasty, dirty little thoughts running through my head right now.

Bartender boy and I are supposedly getting together tonight for drinks after work. My work, that is. He has today off. If, and big if, he doesn’t blow me off again. So far so good, but it’s 10:42 a.m. as I write this and he’s suppose to meet me at 6 p.m. Anything can happen. Does he show up?

Oh, you ask where we’re going? This is the good part. I chose an upscale bar in one of the priciest hotels in Chicago on the Magnificent Mile. Ha! We’re talking room rates starting at $300 a night and is Bono’s home base whenever he’s in town. I believe making him buy me a $16 scotch and soda is a very small price to pay for blowing off our previously scheduled date and coming up with a lame ass excuse for it. Don’t you agree? I knew you would. J

Now, I’m not mean. We’ll only stay for one round and then I’ll suggest going somewhere else if things go well. In these economic times I don’t want to kill a bartender budget. I just want to drive the point home. It’s only a date after all. It’s not going to be a love connection. But if I do get a chance to tap it, then wow for me. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen him and I hope he is still as excruciatingly hot as I remember him to be. Growl.