53 posts tagged “dating”

I've been gone for a while, because yes, it's true. I have taken a lover. I know it's against what I want, which is a relationship. But I have to admit, it is fun. Who is the lover? None other than Bartender Guy. Yep. Despite all those blow-offs and crap, I still have a serious sexual weakness for him, and while I am still pursuing other guys and the possibility of a relationship, I can't help but want to be with this guy. We both agree we don't want to date each other, we both agree we don't want any strings. We both agree we want to go out and have fun together. And the attraction is beyond mind-blowing. The sexual attraction especially is extremely intense. I don't want to get out of his bed in the morning and he drags me back. Fuck!!!! Am I whoring myself and cutting myself short? Maybe. I'll cop to it. But I am tired of being sexually frustrated for so long, being timid about what I wanted and feeling inferior. Strange as it sounds, this guy makes me feel sexy, attractive, desired. Something I haven't felt in a very long time. I kinda need that catalyst. I need that bit of vibrant energy to get myself back out there. And I have. I've been on a few dates recently and snuck a few kisses, and while they haven't been great, I feel like I'm back in the game. Like I have the dating groove back. I won't do this forever. It's not what I want. I just want to enjoy it for what it is.

Last night I finally went on a date with a guy I met on Match – Construction Dude. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the world that could’ve made it even a decent date. The guy looked nothing like his picture, wasn’t working the same job he had in his profile, and was annoying as hell even though he started out nice enough. And an idiot to boot. I met him at an upscale wine bar where he “arrived” 30 minutes late when he actually got there 45 minutes earlier. How pray tell? Because like a normal person, I arrived early and sat at the bar. He on the other hand got there about 15 min after I did but proceeded to stand outside in front of the place. After waiting for me to walk up to him outside (in 7 degree temps by the way) he texts to see if I’m on my way, so that I can tell him I was inside the entire time. He tried several times to grab my hand, which I was having none of. No way in hell. Uh uh. The best part was at the end of the night. For some reason my debit card wasn’t working at any ATM I tried so I couldn’t grab cash for a cab. The cash I had I put towards drinks (we hit two different places and we decided the split the tabs – no big). By the end of the night it was midnight and absolutely freezing because it had dropped to probably 1 degree. He told me he had driven, but do you think he offered me a ride knowing I didn’t live all that far away? Nope. Nothing. I was thrilled to have to wait 20 minutes for the train that late at night.

I have really had it at this point. Bartender guy: blows me off. Advertising exec: blows me off for our date. Now, meet Mr. CPA. Guess what?! Mr. CPA emailed, called and text messaged me for the last week and a half, even up until yesterday afternoon. We were to meet up and watch the Chargers/Steelers game today and he was suppose to call me this morning so we could decide where to meet. The game starts at 3:45 and it’s now 2:30. No call. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it. Why put out all that effort to just say “Fuck it”. Why bother? If you don’t want to go out with me, don’t ask. Don’t contact me at all, don’t waste my time and breath. It’s just stupid to me. I’m so fed up. What the fuck already. My next scheduled blow off is this Wednesday when theoretically I’m suppose to meet up with Mr. Construction Guy. Stay tuned. Though, you already know what happens.

And now, a public service announcement from The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment:

Do you have a friend who, when out with the group on a school night and is tanked to the hilt, likes to approach bartender guys who have blown them off to find out the reason they did so, only to then go home and drunk text them asking if they are committed to the girl the guy is now seeing? We at The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment ask you to do your part to spare that friend the awfulness of waking up the next morning remembering what they did while they foster the desire to crawl in a hole and die. What can you do? When you see that friend get up out of her seat to approach the bartender guy, tackle them, chain them down, gag them, and distract them with conversations about the Illinois’ corrupt governor or the Cubs trading Mark DeRosa. Take their phone away from them as quickly as possible. When they try to get the phone back, and they will, threaten them with bodily harm and the promise to never take you to that bar again. Remember, you would want them to do the same for you.

This has been a message from The Council Against Drunken Embarrassment.

Ok, so are you ready? Ok. Ask me how my date last night went with the ad exec I met on Match. Go ahead - ask me. Ask me! Ask me! Ask me! Wanna know? Really? Wellllllll. IT SUCKED BECAUSE IT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!! I never heard from the guy until 4:30 when I texted him and he gave me a bullshit family emergency excuse asking for a reschedule. He couldn't even call or text. I had to text him. What the fuck?! Do I scream ultimate demented, ugly, boring fuck of a woman now through instant messaging? Really?! Argh. I got blew off again. Do I radiate some sort of kryptonite that makes guys want to blow me off? I don't get it. I act disinterested for months thinking that if I don't try I'll meet someone when I least expect it. When that doesn't work I try the new approach to put myself actively back into the game with the "I'm ready to meet someone" vibes and again disaster. Thank goodness for bottles of Pinot Grigio and batteries. It's looking like that's what my future continually holds.

I am seriously about to go crazy and take people with me on a very, very long trip. Ever since last weekend's sex-crazed mayhem with Bartender Guy I am going out of my mind. It is official that he has blown me off and I am majorly jonesing for more of him and his action. It has to be illegal somewhere that you cannot have mind-altering amazing sex and then go poof! Not fair, and I call shennanigans!!!!!! Sure, I have this date on Saturday night, and from his picture he seems like an ok looking guy, but he is not painfully gorgeous like Bartender Guy. There are too many hours in the day where my head has wandered into thoughts of last week and his "talents". Argh! I want to scream. Scream I tell you. The only other current prospect I have is the ex boyfriend and quite frankly sex with him was never any good, even when we did have it which was nowhere near often. I'd be afraid of calling our the Bartender Guy's name because I would be thinking of him the entire time. I need a drink. Actually, several of them.

I must be seriously fucked in the head. After a dreary, sad day of watching the Blackhawks get bitch-slapped in the Winter Classic, I came home to check email and see what was going on on Match.com. A few days ago this guy chose me as his “favorite” which guess is a new feature. I never saw it until I signed up again a few days ago. He’s 40, a former chef who now works in advertising and has a kid. I don’t care if someone has a kid. I want a family someday and being 35 I am realistic. Kids are not a deal-breaker for me. His profile seems cool so I decide to “wink” at him, not knowing he was online. So, he IM’s me. You can IM on Match. Holy shit. I freaked. I figured I would send an innocuous “wink” but, boom, there he pops up. We IM for about an hour and he seems cool. Nice. Normal. Has a 7 year old son that he spent NYE with. Cool with me. He asks me out for drinks Saturday night in the city and I say yes. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?! I said yes??????? Why? I’m not suppose to go out with anyone. Am I? I just got started again on Match and already I have a drink date? Is that weird? Normal? Should I go? I’m shaking my head in disbelief right now. How did I get a drink date already? I can still cancel I guess. I got on Match to meet people and now I’m being a total spazz-matic. Beyond spazz-matic. Aww, shit.

Monday night turned out to be an awesomely shitty night that I never could’ve predicted. First, I was still thinking about Bartender Guy and how that ended. Kinda bummed, but again, realistic. Kept thinking about him. I agreed to have dinner with my ex boyfriend who is trying to get back together with me. Or so it seems. He shows up and I’m about ready to choke and die: Bartender Guy’s outfit on Friday was a black turtle-neck sweater with dark jeans and gym shoes with a dark navy pea-coat. Guess what the fuck the ex shows up in? Exact same fucking clothes. Then, he recognizes “the smell”. The shirt I wore to dinner with the ex was the same I wore this past weekend with Bartender Guy and he was all over me in. I only wore it once and it seemed ok. Not icky – we’ve all done it. But the ex picked up on the strange smell right away as soon as I took my coat off. And it wasn’t because of my new perfume.

So, here I am. Dealing with an ex who might know. We go to dinner and it’s fine. Then we go to a dive bar only to find that it’s a poetry slam night. I’ve never been to one and have always wanted to. He has, so I ask if we can stay. We do, and I start to think it’s cool that he’s willing to stay because I’ve never been there. Everything is cool until we get in the car and he starts spouting about his high school friend who is a typical art school degenerate and the bad slams they went to and ripping on the people we heard. I thought I heard some people I liked and commented. Some I understood and totally got. Others, I respected because they were performing art. The ex just railed and killed any sense of possible connection I was forming with him. He became his old self. When he dropped me off he kissed me like he was a wet sponge swapping up water. No passion. No “like” even. Tonight I truly realized that my ex and I will never get back together.

On top of that, I get a call from one of my best friends – another ex – and he tells me he can’t talk later this week. I’m wondering why, and he tells me his wife is “due” any day. As in NOW. FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!  He never, EVER, told me she was pregnant. It is such an emotional shock to me I can’t explain. I am beyond happy for him, but suddenly in one night knowing that he’s becoming a dad kills me. It warms yet breaks my heart in a million pieces. If I had known I would’ve things would’ve been different. I would’ve had time to lean into it. Been there as a friend. Instead, he thought all these months I was ignoring the pregnancy and just being “friends” as normal. I’m hurt, confused, but happy and hopeful that his son arrives in great health and that his mom is healthy as well.

On top of that, I guess I am bummed about Bartender Guy dumping me. Argh!!!!!

Shit, I did it. Yep. I figured I'd blow $40 and sign up for one month of match.com. I did it last year for about four months, and with the exception of one or two viable prospects it was a waste. I think my new found dating bravado and finally getting seriously laid after a major drought contributed to the decision. The way I look at it is that I would like to get laid again relatively soon and since I'm not really meeting anyone in daily life, I figured I'd try the cyber life again. I'm giving it the one month trial to see what happens. I actually did find some good prospects, and after a shot or two of tequila I actually "winked" at them. For those not in the match.com know, a "wink" is a way of sending a brief message that you are interested in someone. I found three. We'll see what happens. I'm not putting a lot of stock in it, but who knows. Maybe I can get a round of free drinks out of it. I haven't heard from Bartender Guy so my assumption at this point is definitely the big sayonara.